Flame. Light. Lover

Score: You Light Up My Life by Kasey Cisyk (1977)

I finally got her to go camping. She didn’t see the fun in it, but she said since I was so invested, she would give it a try.

We were 8 of us going on a camping trip, and it was just for one night. We got there late in the morning and spent most of the afternoon setting up our tent and a small grill for food.

By 4 pm, we had taken off on a jaunty walk to gawk at nature. It was a breathtaking sight. She complained her feet didn’t like stress though. By 7 pm, we had gathered around, eating, and swapping stories with each other about how the past year had treated us all.

It had been quite a year with a global pandemic leading to a global economic crisis, explosions, plagues, and a lot of other weird things. But we had all pulled through, stronger and better, and so there was a good vibe in the air.

Throughout the night, I held her hand in mine. Even when she leaned in and rested on my body, I never let go of her hand. And as I talked about my year, and how it had gone, it was the feel of her skin on mine that grounded me, and prevented me from descending into the dark alleys of memory.

All too soon, it was 2 am, and everybody retired to their tent. In our tent, she wrapped herself in a thick blanket, because the weather was quite cold. I set up the portable fireplace, and she wriggled closer to better feel the warmth of the flames.

Watching the scene, I realized it painted a picture of what she is to me. The flames were her, and she was me. I wriggle closer to her every day. I look forward to hearing her laugh and look forward to seeing her smile, I look forward to listening to her talk. I want to watch her eyes light up at the simplest of things; when she sees her favourite snack, when she’s around babies when she sees a funny meme when she talks about her favourite food. Because whenever I am close to her, whenever I witness her doing any of these things, it means I am close enough to the flame, and the cold cannot come close.

I used to wonder why I felt like a man drunk on salvation and joy when I felt her skin. It didn’t matter if I was holding her hand, touching her face, or massaging her feet. As long as I was touching her, that feeling was there. I realized now that it was the feeling of a freezing man who had touched a flame. It was the warmth she was injecting into me. A Warmth she gave off by just being herself. And when she turns and smiles that special smile, that she gives only to me, it’s like the sun bursting over the horizon and bringing forth a new morning.

She not only brings warmth; she also brings light. My journey since I met her has been smoother because she helps illuminate my path, and gives me the strength to carry on when I face difficulties. She is the human who serves as a life-bringing light to my universe.

These thoughts run through my mind as I watch her fall asleep. I step out and look up at the stars, and thank my God. Because I do not know how I managed to get a girl like her. But I am grateful I did get her, and I am going to cherish her with every fibre of my being.

I step back in, back to my own personal flame. It’s cold outside, and my life-bringing light sleeps inside, waiting for me.